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KAT's Journal

Monday, June 30, 2003

8:10PM

well tomorrow i leave to go to gulf shores and jana is coming with me. it is storming pretty bad here and mom will not let me go anywhere so this sucks. i am so fricken bored. i got my prom pictures today to bad its to late to enjoy them cause me and brandon broke up not to long ago. its sad... anyway the lights went off here a bit ago and i was in the basement playin some x-box and it was freaky down there dark by myself. haha well anyway i am excited bout tomorrow since its me and jana and we can make the most borin thing possible fun. haha okay well i guess that bout all i gotta say ill tell ya how my trip went when i get home. ~*~MuCh LuV~*~

Sunday, June 29, 2003

9:50PM

okay well i went to mission camp that was okay my boyfriend broke up with me while i was there so that really sucked i do not understand guys at all anymore. there so... well... confusing even though i am friends with a lot of them. i leave to go to alabama tues and i am goin to six flags tomorrow. i got to wake up at 6 which really really sucks. i really have no clue about whats goin on right now everything just seems like a major dream. i get my license soon. i am so excited. i know all of this is just boring everyone but if really feels good to type all my thoughts in here and plus i am so bored. i was thinking and i came up with this thought... why do we have to live on earth if we are all just gonne end up going to hell of heaven. hmm thats the thought that ponders me. and another thing is why is it that you do not know what you really have until you loose it all and then its all just too late? okat anyway my mind is messed up or somethin. hmmm... okay well i guess thats bout all i have to say. so anyway guess ill talk to this thing later. ~*much ~ love*~

Friday, June 20, 2003

6:13PM - its been awhile

alright well i went to gulf shores me and erin and the fam. and we met this band called all-star special. well anyway they are awsome we bought their c/d and i suggest everyone finds a way to listen to them. okay so i was inspiered by them and erin helped me write one song and i wrote like 2 more for our band dayzed. oh yea and if any of you all wanna try out for our band we need ya to. okay so anyway i am leavin again sunday for mission camp. then i come home and leave again then i come home and go to camp sunshine cause i am helping out there. alright well i am just blabering on. i donno what i am really typing tell ya the truth now i am typing it all so fast so if i said anything stupid please forgive me well i am gone now talk to ya later peace peace

Saturday, May 31, 2003

10:35PM - alright so...

Right this very moment I am in Tenn. I came here yesterday and am leaving tomorrow. We came here for my nephews graduation. I am really bored right now and I have not written in here in a long long time. Yes my grandma did end up dying that sat. A day before easter and really close to her birthday. It was sad really depressing. My family say that when I left her side the last few days she kept asking for me. The funeral was nice well as nice as a funeral can actually get. HMMMM... I got bit by a spider, they had to put me on some major pills. Wed. i think i am on my way to Gulf Shores which should be a pretty good trip. Okay well I am gonne find something else to go do now. Ill talk later. BUH BYE.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

8:46PM

alright so everything has not been going that great lately... my grandmaw will die any hour now i have been crying all day, brandon is still grounded and broke his hand sunday and its sortta my fault but not physically my fault. and this little person will not quit bothering me no names though... people that know me know who it is. last weekend was pretty kool i gues you could say. Jana spent the night all weekend. my vision is soo blurry so excuse me errors. so this weekend is easter wow holidays depress me when family members are dying okay well i do not have much more to say but i got a car. yea and its pretty too. its a 2003 mustang okay i am gone bye bye everyone

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

8:40PM

kay so today was wed. short day yay!! right now i am in a pretty good mood right now a tad bit to hyper though... k momma is going out of town tomorrow with dad YES i am so glad. jocelyn is watching me this weekend and mom is paying ross to bring me to school and crap... i went to church tonight with brandon and ross it was kool i guess. my music is blarring from upstairs like always. Oh we are in war gosh thats a scary thought. really scary. hmmm... there is not much for me to say really. so i guess that all. buh bye

Current mood: amused

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

8:56PM

alright today was a different day but so is every other day. i was really exhausted all day today and just wanted to pass out somewhere everyone thought something was up with me. its so strange how some people can read your mind like the really do know whats going on. its sortta a little freaky i would say. its raining here or shall i say storming. the sirans are going off. mom is suppose to go away this weekend i hope she does i need some time to myself for awhile. school is going okay i think i am actually trying to do good this nine weeks. i am understanding geometry but am worried bout that state test in biology. tomorrow is a wed. so its short that always makes me happy. i stayed up thinking last night but its like i can not recall what about i guess just everything. the damn cat peed on my bed and some of my stuff animals it made me so mad. jocelyn came home today she sortta did not say much of anything to me. i miss how we use to be. i am looking for my prom dress... its hard for me to find one. i gotta stop letting people get to me, i donno why i let them bother me its not like many of them matter anyway. well i guess i better get my exhausted self some beauty sleep i need all of it i can possibly get. night

Current mood: exhausted
Current music: the way i feel by 12 stones

Sunday, March 16, 2003

8:18PM

okay so i have these two songs stuck in my head unwell by matchbox 20 and the way i feel by 12 stones... i relized i have problems with sleeping now. but i have been pretty energized and some what happy so thats great. tomorrow i have to go to brookheaven to take care of some crap... i am not looking forward to it that much... its sortta bothering me. i wish brandon was not grounded maybe then all these thoughts would not be running through my mind like crap... maybe then i would have someone to talk to well school starts tomorrow i really do not want it to but its getting really close to summer. what do you do when someone wont listen to you but you know what your talking about and it could be dangerous??? i know i am stubborn and i have to find out things for myself but when can some people just not listen. gosh i can not stop listening to these songs. i like them so much. i suggest you should download them. i have noticed a lot about myself lately for one i have learned that i wanna talk most when i should not talk at all like during a movie or something. i am so ready to get my car. hmmm... i can not wait. i went to church today with brandon and ross and then just hung out with ross for the rest of the day then went to the skating rink to see ash and then to my church. hmm... i can not sleep worth crap anymore.hmm oh yea just so there is no confusion when i say brandon i am talking about brandon m. there are so many brandons in this world. alright well i guess i am going to go now.

Current mood: intimidated
Current music: unwell- matchbox 20 and the way i feel by 12 stones

Saturday, March 15, 2003

10:32PM - alright...well

okay so my boyfriend and one of my best friends are grounded and this totally sucks... spring break was pretty awsome... i was some what sortta relazed at points. i went to gulf shores and jana brandon m. and ross came with me. we had a pretty good time. ross locked his keys in his truck though so that sucked but it was okay. tomorrow i am going to church with brandon and ross. it amuses me. i got me a new cell phone it is really nice and little. with some of my friends i am still not back on great terms and i miss them dearly... i miss my "little sister" ashley to. i miss her a whole lot. but i get to baby sit her when doug goes away. i am going to prom... yay i get to go pick me out a dress i think monday. i have been having some trouble sleeping lately but i will wake up early in the mornings its so strange. jaime cory and me have been hanging out since i got home ... its been kool. hmmm i have had writers block with my poems and stuff lately it totally sucks. well... i guess i am gonna go now. later everyone.

Current mood: hopeful

Thursday, February 27, 2003

8:35PM

i hate remembering things... i hate memories. all they do is depress me... hmm okay i am not going to complain... i think i am going to Gulf shores durin spring break with some friends so that'll be kool. i feel annoyed but i guess that common. i just got home a little bit ago. mom and dad have been out of town so i have been just hanging around with some people. i do not understand why i have to be so stubborn. why can i not just take advice from people its so stupid. Blah!!! alright well i am out buh bye

Current mood: annoyed

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

2:38PM

wel.. i have not wrote in here in awhile... a lot of things changed total changes. i miss hanging out with my old friends i am getting back into it though. i have been a little messed up lately i have been sick for the past month with this dangumit whatever is going around. i lost 15 pounds because of it. i have had a lot of anger built up inside of me. i am trying to get it out. i hope i do not explode on anyone because of it. well i guess i am going to go now bye bye

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

7:07PM

okay well my life has been really strange i feel like i am fighting a battle against everyone and no one is on my side. it sucks feeling this way b/c its lonely. i donno really why i actually feel like this well i do but would rather keep it all to myself. my baby is really sick and thats is bothering me. i really need to pray for him i donno what i would do if i ever lost him. i am suppose to go to the Jackson hospital with him sometime. well i guess i am gone buh bye

Current mood: worried

Friday, October 18, 2002

10:18AM

I had a good time at USM, but yesterday sucked i donno what was the matter with me. Maybe i need to start taking vitamins. Hmm!?! i donno. well anyway today is the last official day of fall break... *sighs* i hate school with a passion. oh yea and i think i got myself out of nationals yay!!! some seniors may be pissed with me but hey they will be better without me. i am so confundido today. well anyway i am out. bye bye

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

11:42PM

okay well i have had writers block for awhile and i donno what this one is about or where it came from but here it is

sometimes i feel lost
while others are found
sometimes life is fine
next minute its turned around
and as long as you are here
and catch me as i fall
will you wipe away the tear
will you be my all
can i put my trust in you
will you be faithful to me
and will everything you do
change the way i see
sometimes i am afraid
other times i am free
is my descisions already made
is this the way life is going to be
afraid to look me in my eyes
after being let down
hiding all the good-byes
not another sound
as i watch the would diappear
my hope is tomorrow
as ending days come near
are they full of happiness or sorrow?

Current mood: artistic

12:39PM

yeah okay so its fall break. and well jaime is gone to Gulf Shores. and my baby has school. well i am just sitting here being bored thinking about going to shelly's or something. this morning i got up real early to go fix my sweety some chicken noodle soup and some hot chocolet. even though i got to go back to sleep till about 11 with only a few annoying phone calls, i am still really sleepy. Tomorrow is the big day haha. well i get to go to USM and stay with my sissy and go shopping. i have to go to church with her though in culumbia and listen to jermey preach. last night we played South Pike in J.V. we lost but it was okay my baby came and surprised me at the game. BLAH!!! i am so bored. Well. anyway i am happy to be out of school so i really can't complain. I'll type later i guess buh bye *MAUH*

Current mood: anxious
Current music: innocent- our lady peace

Thursday, September 26, 2002

3:03PM

alright well i am bout to loose my mind. i am stuck in this house because the roads are flooded. me and doug are sortta fighting or something he is grounded and he doesn't think he can come to the homecoming dance tomorrow with me so he told me to get another date and go so he doesn't have to put up with me blaming him for me not going ot my homecoming dance and so therefore i told him no that i just won't go and he kept saying for me to go and i yelled at him to stop it. and he hung up on me then called back and told me to apologize or he didn't wanna talk to me but i won't apologize b/c i do not think i have a reason to b/c i told him to stop telling me to go. so he told me to call him when i wanna apoligize and i donno... *sighs* this rain is sooo depressing.

Current mood: worried
Current music: had a bad day - fuel

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

7:51PM

hmmm well... i donno what to say nottin much is going on my boyfriend is grounded so i donno what ill be doing but maybe he will get out of it.

today was a strange day but isn't any other day? this rain is real depressing though.

my sister came home today i am so glad to see her i miss having her around i hate being the only child.

why is it that my family can not be a normal loving family but i mean really is there even a family that is normal?

well i am gone for right now

Current mood: lazy

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

7:21PM

i have learned through people that today is a defferent day and to live you life as if its the last day you'll live. do not live it on the past. the past is the past and you can not change what it is. there is no need to mope on the past. but also i have learned that people like to put on acts like this little person that keeps leaving these comments u were suppose to be my friend and i know who you are. i may not act like it at school but i do know who you are. and i would have least expected it to be you. hmmm...... alright well i am going to go write a poem or something...

Current mood: thoughtful

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

9:03PM

can i go die now? please someone just kill me...

Current mood: crushed

Thursday, September 12, 2002

10:07PM

today was another day thats it

Current mood: stressed

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